sketchbook nov 2021/now {best bits}

lookie who went to their local library to ravage their free scanner~

it was me!! — so I have had this damned sketchbook for soonish to be over a year. which is nutty to think about for -concept of time- reasons, but also personal reasons. one of said personal reasons is “wow, i usually finish a 100 page sketchbook in 2-3 months… am i getting worse?” which is rather silly to think about, because what is improving anyway??- art is ART. you know??? screw the critics and all that ✨blah✨blah✨blah✨. but also one of the other big personal reasons is “wow, i’m a completely different person… will i ever feel that sort of neutral carefree-ness again?” which is again, rather silly. because yes. duh. i will, i already kind of am today, and every day is an improvement in various areas. there is NO SUCH THING, in my opinion, as going “backwards”. even a sucky panic day is a step (sometimes even a lot of steps) towards a happier day!!

i need to shut the heckity up- i have a hat i need to finish making for my old man neighbor who’s bday is today. happy birthday Gil :). i hope you like this blue hat i have made from my own two hands (+ a circle loom), i have chosen the colors to match that Bud Lite sweater you like to wear so much, i must say it needs a wash though, you slob. just because your 80 something years old is no excuse to let your beer sweater go like that, step it up old man, and brush your teeth too.


marchy ♥︎


— *tw: depressing/sensitive writings + nudity



that’s a lot of “bits“.

will update later with more ig

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– (traced image)

I admire people who are full-bodied.

When they hug a pillow, fully in sleep. Their arms full, strong and dimensioned, their face filled and flushed, from within- so unapologetically flowing constantly, filling each limb, each palm, and finger, each pore, each muscle, and bits of fat,- none unfamiliar, blocked, or lost, but so strong.

So fully,- full.

I am small-bodied. I cannot flow the way others do, I stay balled, or I am just too sparse, weak, small, to try and fill, find fullness.

Oh sure,- I’ve found parts of me, I have seemed to embody. Looked at from the lens of the outside, the esthetic, the beauty of perspectives. But only so far as that. Leaving me not so much embodied, more as in vague pieces, strung together fleshy and clumsy on a weak string- that won’t break but will do the bare minimum on a bi-weekly work shift.

I don’t recognize body, full, in me. I don’t recognize me.

So many corridors and rooms in this achey-breaky echoing “body”.-

It’s more shell than body!

For I must always slink away, something bad happens when I don’t, always from someone I love, whom I feel should then love me back even more in return, when I do so. When I,- make an effort.

I guess all the comfort in the world could not soothe my, at the end of the day,- roaring self centered-ness!!

Oh well!

🎶~don’t break my heart, my achey-breaky heart,-(…)~🎶

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before spring art dump ✿

these are a lot more “wintry” though… I haven’t drawn much this winter and I’ve barely drawn lately. once I’m outside again, I’ll have a springtime art dump.

I have no patience for good lighting and good pictures, screw that noise my ears hurt- so enjoy some over-exposed flash.

– if I were to feel joy about one thing I’ve drawn in the past 2 months.- it would be “banana”.
– the 2 icons in my life are mentioned/shown on one page.-… I am getting so repetitive at this point.
– this page is a banger though~(1)
– (2)
– (3)
– wine lady i drew in the library, feat. me (unintentionally) drawn next to her looking like Irecognize her… her– from, someplace. that doesn’t matter now…as though never existing…~

I wish my life were prettier. my posts would then reflect that, and I’d actually be entertaining to lay eyes on. I just don’t have it in me right now, to put myself out there right now.

maybe I’ll promise myself to just not come back until I’m in a writing mood. might happen once I’ve had enough fresh air consistently running through the pores of my husk corpse body.


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collage pages vol. III

wow, last collage post was September. that’s nutsy.

(* all of said images were found on Pinterest, I am not the owner nor claim to be the owner of any of said images, I have simply edited them on to a file to fit 8. x 11 computer paper for the sake of personal non-commercial use. Jesus Mary and Joseph please don’t strike me down. *)


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sketchbook jun 2021/nov 2021 – {best bits}

!WEE-WOO! 2nd sketchbook tour in my blogging history!

I have woken up feeling different, that same hopeful feeling is back. I don’t know what I’ll do today, maybe I’ll just draw in my fresh new sketchbook, maybe I’ll work on a nice letter to a friend, maybe I’ll stay inside and catch up on some of the Halloween content I missed from my favorite spooky tubers, or maybe I’ll brave the colder 40℉ weather and go outside.

I don’t know what I’ll do, and I don’t even know if I should even make a plan, or if I should just relax. and do whatever just comes to me, even if that thing is to do nothing at all.

now I’m just confusing myself. well never mind. goodbye peaceful feeling.

*tbh I don’t know when or where to give warnings anymore, this is a artsy fartsy, emotional dumping ground, blog written by a less than 5 feet marsupial who still hides under her mother’s skirt when scared. anyway-* *- slightly suggestive jokes + depressing writing*

I did try to make this post not have 30 images, but this will be a longer sketchbook tour than the last one, I don’t know how that happened, maybe it’s due to me having this sketchbook for like- 5 months, possibly more. instead of the more normal 3 months for a 100 sheet sketchbook… don’t know how that happened?? whatever don’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutit — also, some of these drawings may have been repeats from past sketch dump posts, I tried to leave out most of those, but this is “best bits” so some have made a reappearance here.

– first page, mostly olivia art here, as well as some thoughts on the day I started this sketchbook, which might have been the day after the beginning of cancer season, but I still wrote my thoughts I had yesterday.- which was that the police were at my neighbor’s house and they didn’t look happy about it. weird stuff to start out one of the worse zodiac seasons this year to wreck me.– that clint (stardew valley) joke still gets me every time. I’m brilliant. also that little tea monkey I cut from a cereal box reacting to a YouTuber I invested too much of my past time and emotional energy into. still to this day, “fuck u shannon”
– these are art challenges I did with my siblings, we would give out a prompt and we all had to draw our interpretation of it, obliviously these are mine. ok, top left to bottom right- “cat with a top hat, cane, and spats”, “polar bear Eskimos”, “gymnastic frog”, “a pig skipping down the road holding a basket”, “a human personality turned into a dog”.– that pizza pig I actually still think about, and if you can see him, I sneaked him in each of my inktober jazz animal character sheets!
– I remember exactly where I was when I drew these. it was a warm summer day, the sun was shining so beautifully on the leaves, and I was in my wooden off-the-ground playset in a folding chair wearing my mom’s old 90s overalls. I was covering a vent I had done with sticky notes, now drawing on them.- a sketch of a lady with lowkey, simmering, femme fatale vibes turned out surprisingly amazing, leaving me stunned by my own genius. so of course I just had to downgrade it a bit by adding ink. I ruined the mouth a bit which I tried to fix with paper, but yeah I liked the perspective pre-pen. nuts.
– another challenge prompt, “chicken in a evening gown”
– a nothing page of doodles + dreams
– again, cancer season, bad for my entire family. this is my 2nd summer in a row of just bad-ness. to put it lightly.—- those chicken names tho, pure gold. I love naming my stardew valley farm animals.
– so when my neighbors (mostly our ones next door) are being really frustrating to deal with, I draw us all as stupid little frogs to cope! I don’t feel like diving into all the context this drawing holds, but he was really annoyed with us because we politely didn’t take his offer to take some of their cherries from their tree. thus their little scheme of being giving, down to earth, gardening/farm people, was soiled. I love living next to that energy!
– this prompt was “a jazzy/poetic rhino”, I would say this is actually the small start of the whole jazz band animals idea! also as you can see pizza pig is here.
– and pizza pig is also here with more prompts! the top one is “romance at the market” and the other one is “and the winner is”. + a bonus doodle on the left of him in a star crop top.
– random doodle page. again.- need to draw stardew valley again. miss it so much. look at Hephzibah/Shane with Jas at the flower dance~<333 abshnjzkybaws-
– Olivia outfits? Olivia outfits! + t-shirt designs never made + a 6 boobed squirrel
– this was a warm day, despite the lovely self-portrait I did, I don’t think I was having a horrible day? all I do remember of it was listening to SZA (Ctrl – Prom/Drew Barrymore) and Lorde (Solar Power – Stoned At The Nail Salon/Oceanic Feeling).
– I really like the li olivia in the top right corner, li pigtails and mary janes so cute lol
– Hephzibah + Abigail page
– heehoo had to censor my signature practice because I really like this page.
– the last page pre-inktober. so freeform, so messy. look at those glitter crayons and artsy y2k vibes~
– here’s me planing out day 6, the start of the jazz animals! plus other doodles and stuff. I listened to Hole’s Live Through This and def enjoyed– yes, yes, go head- get your shouts and snorts of us new young plebs listening to ~90s grunge~ and calling themselves fans DESPITE not knowing Courtney Love’s beginnings, and her past, and her shoe size– we get it, you were there when they were there. that’s pretty cool actually, so how about you tell us all your big knowledge of being a decade+etc long fan?? or-ok-or you could gatekeep- ok. cool. cool.
– awww, guys! look at me trying to plan for tomorrow with an outfit idea! isn’t that so cute? and pathetic? and depressing?… but hey look it’s also Delilah with her bunnies!
– last normal page pretty much. just a trash page with me doing some style practice, also me worry writing -you all know how it is teehee- you know, I had JUST enough room in my sketchbook for my 31 inktober drawings! pretty lucky! so basically this sketchbook ended right after all that artwork, which is both satisfying- but is also giving me whiplash haha, ha, haa…
– it’s time to move on to something else!

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{Happy Halloween!} – Inktober 2021 – Day 22 – 31

hee hoo

time to write this the night before the 31 so I have less to think abt!!!

lol nvm it’s tomorrow.

– here’s Drumset Wolf! — copying a thing i sent to a friend abt him — forever a hooligan, reaching 60, but a lot of people perceive him as 20 or more years younger. Bass Violin Bear and him have nearly been attached to the hip since elementary years. which is lucky for him, since he would probably have not survived this long if not for Bear. always an adventurer of the world. the type to dive right in and “figure it out” along the way, his impulsiveness has always threatened his relationships, his finances, his reputation, and at times his very life. however after many close calls,-but mostly age-, his impulsivity has seemed to mellow out compared to his adolescence, 20s , and even early 30s. to say it’s “controlled” perfectly would be stupid however, he did still form a plan at complete random to start a “whole band” and negotiate and sell the idea to the owner of the underground cafe he and Bear had been going to for only a few months. but that actually turned out well so, there is something smarter at the wheel. he has always been connected to music, so much breath and life to it all. Bear adds the deep undertones, and Wolf adds the lively beat, i think that says what to know about their relationship perfectly. despite being drawn to an “exciting” life, one of his other favorite hobbies is cooking, he still wants to relax sometimes. has his food experiments always worked? no absolutely not. have they turned out amazing though? yes, absolutely yes. after all that has happened in his life, the good and bad. life is turning slower. but, maybe that’s a good thing.
– haha my mood after doing that wolf’s character sheet.
– blue
– here is Banjo Cat! — copying a thing i sent to a friend abt him — early 30s something i’d say, lives in a pretty small rented apartment,- prob has lived there for several years. considering how messy and stink y his space is you’d think he was in his very early 20s, but no only in mentality. he’s been single his whole life (and honestly likes it that way), in case all that i just said didn’t tip you off already- he’s a big Gamer, he likes to hang in forums and watch 1 hour long videos about how emotionally meaningful x game is (- asisaiditendtomakecharacterthathaveabitofmyselfinthem -), a good chunk of his social life is on the internet, it’s his space. despite being antisocial he gets along well with his newly found band-mates, they really make him feel special about his life-long banjo playing. it’s really helped with his self-image.
-squiggle godmother from a recent doodle
– Bass Violin Bear — copying a thing i sent to a friend abt him — old soul, early 60s or reaching 60 i’d say. him and Drumset Wolf go way back, known each other ever since they were just a pup and a cub. has had a full life, not hard compared to others maybe, but full enough that things have begun to slow down, and the simple, slow, comfortable, life he’s always looked for is here it seems. doesn’t take anything given to him for granted, cares deeply for those in his life, even if not shown extravagantly. has always been on the quieter side, always has been a bit of a “mother” type of character, especially towards Wolf. was never interested in dating (not even as a young bear), maybe one or two times where there was a spark of something, but it was just not meant to be. has always loved music (like that scene in ratatouille where the rat tries some of the food for the first time, it’s like that for him colorful and stuff), it’s deeply comforting to him, he likes the undertones of music, the instruments that add the richness to the rest of the symphony. he and Wolf were the ones who started adding music to the underground café, and out of all the ventures he and Wolf had “begun”, this one’s, a good closure.
– ❤️ / ⚫️
– based on my old man neighbor
– hahaa olivia + perry getting into ’21’s inktober at the end~! they just got back from trick or treating, perry needed to be disguised to look like a little toddlar so he got a wig and a mask, he’s a princess!

teehee ootd~

well. that’s the end. dang. i wish i had more energy to sound more nice.– thank you to those who have enjoyed seeing my inktober posts, I’ve really loved seeing other’s art this month.- it’s felt like i’m part of a casual community on here, in a small way.

and that means a lot :o).

here’s my bear pumpkin

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Inktober 2021 – Day 15 – 21

…. i’mma tad late.

listenlistenLISTEN— yesterday- wasn’t good. girlies, it wasn’t nice. we are on the cusp of scorpio season and i am already bitter about my life. but tears of yesterday aside- the DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY something really angering happened concerning our neighbors. they suck. so i’ve been preoccupied mentally but also this week’s inktober has more “effort” in it then in previous weeks, i’m working on “character sheets” of sorts for all of the animals in the jazz band. 5 sketched-inked-colored panels, as well as a few extra things outside the panels. kind of worth it but also, a lot of tiring work. these 3 i had to finish the day after (shh don’t tell anyone teehee).—-

*suddenly, after my small sinful giggle, i seemingly evaporate into thin air.-*

*2 horrific hours pass, god, what has happened?*

*and then, as though i had never left-*


ha cha cha cha~ hoho if i hadn’t had written that, you all would not have know i actually left for 2 hours after writing the first part of this post! i left all the way to the nearby forest preserve!

– this one’s one of my favorite photos i took

it was very nice to walk around, see the fall colors. this is one of the “truly autumn” moments i’ve had in the last 2 or so months, it was almost unreal how beautiful and straight up picturesque it all was. i’m so grateful to have had that moment.

what was this post agai- ohshit yeah- inktober week 3, already jeesh. ok art time

– inspired by a mouse that was crawling and moving under a bunch of ivy leaves. i used my glitter crayons here but unfortunately they don’t appear very well on camera.
– here’s Saxophone Lizard! she’s very chill. she reminds me of this pianist Martha Argerich who my mom really adores, she owns a documentary of her (Bloody Daughter i think it’s called) and I’ve watched it, she’s very cool. — copying a thing i sent to a friend abt her — ” 50s/60s, seems like a nice little older lady — is actually very street smart. went through life events and came out chill, has an incredible air of coolness to her that most people on a creative wavelength see, she’s just comfortable with herself and that is very admirable. loves to read, likes experiencing things in a more “quiet” reflective way, pretty cultured. likes simple but more finer things. not very known in the public eye but if you’re in corners of the music world she’s got a name for herself. A lifelong saxophone player, started lessons as just a small hatchling, went through a lot of pressure, and yet has never hated her instrument of choice. a regular customer at the cafe for a while, it wasn’t until Wolf and Bear started playing music there that she made it known that she was a saxophonist and was asked to join the “band”. to some, playing in a small, barely known underground cafe, with non-professionally trained “musicians”, would be an embarrassing down-grade. but to her, it couldn’t be any more perfect.”
– self portrait~
– here’s the Clarinet Squirrel! — copying a thing i sent to a friend abt him — “20s something, youngest one there. i think Maurice would be a good name for him. simple fellow tbh, doesn’t talk much. not very complex. he’s a bit like the pig character i made, he just kind of vibes~ life is just kind of simple and sweet for him, he’s the only one in the group with an ongoing romantic relationship (he’s known her since middle school ages it’s sweet). he just kind of showed up and the wolf was like “aw right you got the gig!” (and then bear was like “wolf why didn’t you do the interview??” and the wolf was like “ehhh. i like his wavelength enough.”).”
– happy place.
– it’s Piano Sheep! — copying a thing i sent to a friend abt him — “late 20s early 30s, does act like his age demographic but enjoys being around older people. enjoys the more “close-knit” -(cyvgjbhn omg get it bc he’s a sheep knityarnwool hahahhHA-)- city scene, likes creating a chill routined life for himself, this guy—loves his “aesthetics”. neutral tones, artwork, musical culture, H i p s t e r stuff like that. some people would see him as basic trying to not be basic, but he, of course, doesn’t see himself as such, he can be a little bit too… in his head about his image. but then again isn’t that just male hipster culture. he found the cafe somewhere through word of mouth and or a comment on a forum, and of course had to check it out. he actually recognized Saxophone Lizard, which then led him to approach the band, which then lead to piano playing being more than just a hobby.”
– itz au baybe pumpkwin cwryin swad

scorpio season had better be better then this please. please keep my scorpio moon sibling happy and not angry.

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Inktober 2021 – Day 8 – 14


S E C O N D W E E K!!!!!!

…. i don’t have much to say tbh, i got like, most of my feelings out last night. and those chicken nuggets are still sitting in my stomach like rocks.

– the black coloring is ass. but this is kind of a cool idea i guess, maybe i’ll redraw it better someday.
– i miss flash. i want to be 8 again.
– what in the simple aesthetic pen live laugh love simplistic art artwork pinterest is this? i had no ideas that day so i just drew my new boots i got, and busted my glitter crayons all over it. that’s what this is.
– memories.
– here’s what all the jazz band animals do at 9:09pm. can you eye spy all the clocks??
– after the 12th day i needed to go back to something simple because i don’t want to completely break myself knowhatimean?
– happy birthday to my mom, she loves squirrels and coffee. i love you mama :^).

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